Addictions
by LadyBauer
Summary: Natasha's POV about her 'addiction' - please review! BlackHawk obviously! UPDATED with Clint's POV!
1. Chapter 1

A little idea I've had all day! Written from Natasha's POV, might follow up with one from Clint's POV if you guys like….

I don't own anything and have no money so there's no point suing me ok?

I stare at the ceiling…I wonder if he's back yet. I contemplate asking Jarvis but then I almost don't want to know. If he's back then why hasn't he come to me, if he's not back then where is he? Did something go wrong with the mission? Is he ok?

I sigh and shake my head at these stupid thoughts as I sit up and look out of my window at the New York skyline. It's 3 am and I'm tired but I need him. It's gotten so I can't sleep properly if he's not beside me. I shake my head even more vigorously than before as I admit that to myself.

I get up and stretch knowing that there's only one thing I can do and that is go to his room. Even if he's not there I might sleep better in his bed. So I wander down to the elevator and press the button for his floor. The Star Trek like elevator takes me up 3 floors in the blink of an eye and I step out into the darkness. I'm in his living area and all is dark and quiet. As I move to his bedroom my heart almost leaps out of my chest as I hear the unmistakable sound of his soft snoring (oh please..).

He's back and he's fine and I am relieved. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness of the room and they come to rest on his body, curled up on one side of the bed.

I love him. I'm in love with this man. I haven't said it, I've done everything but say it. Somehow I just can't bring myself to - it's like some spell might be broken if I do. He loves me, he's said it and he also says that he doesn't mind if I don't say it. Damn him - why is he so nice to me? Why doesn't he go and get a nice uncomplicated girl who'll tell him all the things I know he desperately wants to hear.

Suddenly the need to be close to him is overwhelming so I carefully crawl into bed beside him so I'm facing his back. I shimmy under the covers trying not to wake him but even being this close to him is intoxicating enough.

I realise I need his gaze, his kiss, his touch like I've never needed anything before in my life. I'm addicted to him and there's no rehab centre on earth that could wean me off Clint Barton. If there was it would be the last place I'd go anyway.

But why does he want me? Why is he so patient with me? I'm damaged goods - that's no secret. Damaged and broken, dark and twisty, all of those kinds of words sum me up. Except recently I've found out that I'm not so broken, so dark. I can love him, I can care about him - I can even care about this motley crew of dysfunctional misfits we call a team.

I thought the Red Room had taken all of those abilities away from me a long time ago but he has drawn them out of me patiently and slowly. I'm brought back to the room abruptly as he stirs in his sleep, turning over to face me. His arm feels around until he finds me and pulls me close to his chest in one move. I gasp softly at the action but smile lightly in the dark. I knew he'd do that eventually.

When we're in bed it seems he needs to be close to me too. He folds me to his side and I tangle my legs through his and sigh as the familiar position takes hold of us both. His arms grip me tightly even in his sleep and I'm facing his shoulder as my own arms stretch around him. I drop a light kiss to his shoulder but the warmth of his skin is too inviting to just leave it there.

I'm wide awake now as I shift slightly to press my lips to his jaw line and his chin. I hesitate before I reach my destination as he sighs softly. I shouldn't wake him, he's exhausted from the mission. It was a long one this time, three long weeks I've been without him. The angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other have a stern conversation with each other whilst I decide to just do it.

I kiss him lightly on his full lips and feel my whole body respond to the sensation. He's not kissing back, he's asleep and yet right now I would be ready to make love to him from the little bodily contact we've had in the last few minutes.

How can he do these things to me? Yes he's hot, muscled and so very fit but he's also kind of a geek with his bow and arrow, his X-Box and his comic books (ahem graphic novels I guess). I certainly never used to think Clint Barton-love god but oh man do I now.

I shiver slightly as I think of the countless orgasms he's given me, each one of them different and amazing. His hands and his tongue have driven me wilder than anything ever has before and that's one of the big reasons why I'm so addicted to him.

As I kiss him again with a little more pressure this time, it's as if he can hear my thoughts as he suddenly flips us over so that I'm pinned to the mattress by his lean body…oh my….

He's awake, he grinds his crotch into me and I can tell he is most definitely awake! He gives me a wry smile that I can just about make out in the darkness.

"Hello Beautiful" he murmurs sleepily as he leans down to kiss me soundly and burn my skin with his hot and wet kisses. I wrap my arms around him tightly and close my eyes to his touch.

As he kisses and caresses me I smile - this is really the only time I let my guard down enough to smile fully. Yes I am an addict and Clint Barton is my drug.

MY drug.

Reviews = LOVE!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the followings, followers and reviews guys!

Clint's POV

* * *

Wow she is beautiful when she's asleep. I've just come back from a 3 week long mission and the first thing I wanted to do when I got back here was talk to her. But I arrived at 1am and I've been standing in her bedroom doorway watching her sleep for the past half an hour.

I know sometimes that she finds it difficult to sleep so as much as I want to wake her up and kiss her until she can't breathe I don't. I look her over one last time and walk quietly to the elevator. I rub my hand roughly over my face as I ride up to my floor trying to stay awake long enough to actually get to bed. I drop my gear on the floor and shrug out of my suit clumsily kicking off my boots as I go, not caring as they fly in different directions across the room.

I wince as I move to the bathroom as I'm pretty sure I just heard something break….oops. My body is so wrecked and exhausted I stop at the bathroom door. The shower I was intending to have can wait until the morning - I need sleep. I shed the rest of my clothes in a heap on the floor and jump into bed totally naked loving the feel of the cool sheets on my tired skin.

As I stare up at the ceiling I try to calm my mind so that I can finally drift off to sleep. This is something I do after missions - go over all that I did and think if I could have done any different (better). My own little de-brief, as Natasha calls it. Natasha.

Damn I wish I'd woken her up now and maybe we'd be moving together in a heightened state of total ecstasy. That's the way it is every time with her I've discovered. I remember when we first realised there was more between us than friendship. She kissed me as if her life depended on it…maybe it did. Even now when I lie beside her I still can't believe she's mine (not that I would ever tell her I think of her as 'mine' out loud or she'd kick my ass obviously). I mean, you know, I'm not anybody's idea of a dream man let's face it. I'm shy and I like archery and video games - not exactly what a woman's looking for these days.

However, I know Nat is mine and I'm not being cocky or macho. She even says she is, in the throws of our love making but still it counts! It's her way of trying to say she loves me I think. She's afraid to actually say the words but I just don't understand why so I say them instead in the hope that maybe one day she will. In moments of weakness I think to myself that she's just waiting for an opportunity to run, that she's found herself in too deep and her 'programming' from the Red Room is screaming at her to get as far away from me as she can.

I shiver at the thought. I'd find her if she ran, there's no doubt about that but still - if she did run… I shake my head trying to rid my mind of those thoughts as they are not helping me get to sleep. So I think of something more pleasant. Sparring with Nat, watching old movies and her pretending not to cry at them and me pretending not to notice! Going to bed with her…oh my God why am I thinking about that!

Maybe because it's all I can think about it since we first went to bed together that day after we moved into Stark's tower. I can recall every second of that afternoon, every touch, every kiss, every curve of her body I've now come to memorise. I don't know if I could ever tell her that the part I really love the most is afterwards when she moulds her body to mine and falls asleep. She clings to me like she can't get close enough and it makes me feel like…well probably the way Tony Stark feels every night when he falls asleep. Like I'm THE MAN.

That image of her naked, writhing body beneath me creeps back into my mind and it is definitely not going to promote restful sleep. I sigh out loud and move onto my side as another image of Natasha enters my mind. It's one I've imagined many times but would never tell anyone about - especially not her. She's pacing the floor awkwardly with a large belly protruding from her small frame.

Yes I imagine that the love of my life is pregnant with our child. A pretty normal thing - for any normal guy I guess. Except I don't know if this dream is even possible after all of her genetic modifications, after the many shots to my crown jewels I've taken over the years I wonder if my guys can swim so well anymore (not to mention my advancing years). Could two master assassins with such backgrounds as ours ever hope to raise a child and finally, maybe most importantly, would Natasha find happily ever after with me even remotely appealing?

I don't know but I fool myself into thinking she would as sleep finally comes to me. I drift off to the image of me cradling a tiny bundle in my arms…

Natasha…it's like I've just been pricked with a needle as I register that I'm holding her in my arms and that she's just kissed my shoulder. She must have snuck in when I fell asleep - my heart does a little dance as those velvet lips of hers trail up my jaw. I stay as still as I can, pretending to be asleep, not wanting to break the spell. But then she stops, she must be debating whether or not to wake me up. Wake me up, wake me up I chant to myself.

Really this game of one up that we play with each other endlessly is ridiculous but it keeps it all fresh I suppose. Then she kisses me so lightly it makes me want to cry at her tenderness - why can she only show me the depth of her feelings in the dark? Save it Barton, at least she's showing you at all I tell myself. As she kisses me again I think screw it.

My eyes fly open as I grip her body and flip us over in one swift move. Now I grind my pelvis into hers and show her what's she's done to me with just a few feather-like kisses and there's that macho pride again when she gasps.

I smile and say 'Hello Beautiful' before I ravage her mouth and begin to do the same to her skin. She holds me tight and lets out the little noises I love so much. As I move from her neck back to her mouth I drink her in - even in the limited light of the room I can make out her wide smile. Macho pride once again makes me puff out my chest because I know that smile is only for me.

I've experienced highs before but when we join together like this it's like nothing I've ever known. I'm addicted to her and there's no point in ever trying to beat it. Why would I even want to?


End file.
